- A Message from our Rabbis
- Introduction
- Section I: Preparing for the Service
- Section II: Some Frequently Asked Questions
- Section III: The Social Action Component
- Section IV: Temple Isaiah Policy Guide
- Covenant of Commitment
Whom do we strive to serve?
Welcome to a new year of Jewish education at Temple Isaiah! Your children will be learning with us as we strive to grow through the transformative process of Synagogue 2000, an ambitious enterprise destined to make Jewish education, worship and values an integral part of our daily lives. We are more than a school. Beyond studying together we will join in prayer at our family services , Shabbat morning learners minyanim and the cycle of holiday celebrations. We are a community that will break bread together at Shabbat dinners and Havdalot and be there to support its members in times of trial and celebrate together in times of joy.
A religious learning community cannot be all things to all people. Our Temple Isaiah Religious School is committed to teaching Jewish values, texts, history, rituals, and practices in a nurturing environment which recognizes the diversity of backgrounds of our membership. We welcome with open arms the children of interfaith couples yet we expect all parents who enroll their children in our school have committed to raise their children solely as Jews. Experience and research has shown that the development of a child’s religious identity is hindered by introducing him/her to two religious traditions simultaneously. While we know that there are non-Jewish parents in our school who continue to observe rituals from other faiths in their homes, our expectation is that the children in our school are being raised solely as Jews.
We strive to create a community that values diversity even as it affirms its love of this particular faith and loyalty to its Jewish people and values. Together, parents, school, and the larger Isaiah community create the ambiance where children discover the holy through the learning, practice and celebration of our ancient and modern Jewish traditions.
If you have doubts as to where you stand or where we stand on these sometimes difficult subjects, Temple Isaiah’s rabbis, cantor, and educators are ready to sit down with you and work on these issues. We want to make Judaism meaningful in your lives and the lives of your children.
We look forward to formal and informal opportunities to be partners with you in the important task of giving your children a deep love of and attachment to everything Jewish, that they may reach their adulthood with an embrace of their Jewish heritage and respect and appreciation for other cultures and faiths.
Rabbi Roberto Graetz
Rabbi Judy Shanks
Cantor Leigh Korn
Debbie Enelow
Mazel Tov! You have now selected a date for your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah. This marks an important moment in the life of your family. It is a time of opportunity, a time for assuming responsibility, as well as a time of discovery. By entering this process, your family indicates a commitment that through your child our traditions will be perpetuated.
Many new things will begin to happen with your child. All of us involved (your child, you, and we here at the Temple) will have to work hard together to make those new things come to fruition. The staff at Temple Isaiah is ready to help you along at every step, but your active participation is what really makes a difference. We can’t do it by ourselves; we try to select people who can be role models as teachers and tutors, but your children are exposed to them only a few hours every week. You are the role model! When we tell your children how important it is for them to be at Shabbat services, we depend on you to join your child and participate in the service. When we say that your children need 3 hours per week of home preparation (that comes out to 2 hour a day, six days a week during a period of nine months) it is crucial that you sit and learn with them and encourage them.
In the next few pages we will tell you as much as we can about the process of preparation for the ceremony and the celebration, and answer the most frequently asked questions. Read it carefully once by yourself and then with your child. If you need any additional information please let us know; we stand ready to help.
Once again, welcome to this very important chapter in the life of a Jewish family. Stay in touch, come to temple often and share with us your feelings and impressions as your child grows into maturity.
Section I: Preparing for the Service
Introduction
In order to become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah candidate at Temple Isaiah, the child’s family must be a member of the Congregation. Families must be committed to raising their children as Jews, exclusive of other religious traditions. The student must have a minimum of three years of Religious School education, attend Temple Isaiah’s seventh grade class and make a commitment to continue after the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. The parents and students together must commit to participating in the sixth grade family minyanim (Shabbat morning services) and the seventh grade family workshops. The date for Bar or Bat Mitzvah is assigned by the clergy. The parent and child must sign the Covenant of Commitment (see separate sheet) in order to confirm the child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. In cases where extra tutoring is required, the Director of Education will help the family make special arrangements.
All financial obligations (i.e. dues, assessments, fees, etc.) to the Temple must be paid in accordance with current Board requirements prior to the date.
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee of $450.00 is due twelve (12) months prior to the student’s date. This fee helps defray the additional costs of training and services the student and family will need during the year of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Please be aware that the standard Religious School/Hebrew School fee is also collected at the beginning of the 7th grade academic year.
Studying for Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Nine months before the service, your child will begin studying privately in addition to coming to Hebrew School on a weekday afternoon. Tutorial sessions will not be scheduled during your child’s class time.
Becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah represents attaining a new status within the Jewish community. It also reaffirms a child’s commitment to that community. It is our hope that the Temple in which one chooses to affirm that identity constitutes a microcosm of the larger Jewish community. If a child wishes to become Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Temple Isaiah we ask that s/he complete the process at Temple Isaiah. In this way, the child gains ample exposure to the community and becomes Bat/Bat Mitzvah according to a thorough process under the guidance of Temple Isaiah’s professionals. In turn, the congregation will make every attempt necessary to provide ample resources for preparing the student. We recognize, however, that not every child is identical and certain students may have special needs. If a child has a particular learning disability, please let us know. Cantor Becker will be happy to recommend other options. We do request that no family seek outside tutoring without discussing the situation with Cantor Becker.
Shabbat Prayers
While at Religious school, your child will have learned some of the most important prayers needed to participate in a Shabbat service. The sixth graders receive tapes of crucial prayers, which they are expected to master on schedule; in 7th grade students are expected to be competent at leading a short Tefillah to their peers. What helps your child the most is coming to Temple. It is our requirement that you bring your son or daughter at least to four Friday night and four Saturday morning services during sixth and seventh grade years. Your participation in services facilitates the learning process and makes Bar/Bat Mitzvah a high point and not an accident in your child’s life! At the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony the prayers will be chanted by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah only if they demonstrate adequate knowledge of words and melodies.
Torah Interpretation
Approximately six weeks before the service, the student will begin work with one of the Rabbis. Together they will go through the meaning of the Torah portion and its possible interpretations. Your child will bring home questions and comments; listen and share your ideas in discussion with them! Out of this dialogue will come a speech which will show a grasp of text, a commitment to our tradition and a love of family and friends.
Section II: Some Frequently Asked Questions
Will our entire family have contact with the Rabbis and Cantor?
Of course you will, but the intensity and intimacy of this contact will depend on you. In the Seventh Grade our Rabbis and Cantor will lead six morning seminars for parents and students. A few weeks before the service, a final meeting will be scheduled for you to have a chance to share a bit of family history with the Rabbi. Last minute questions regarding the event can be answered. During the years of preparation we hope to see you often in Synagogue; our Rabbis and Cantor would love the chance to greet you at our Friday night Oneg and Shabbat morning Kiddush, as well as meet with you individually if you wish to set up an appointment with them.
We hope you will be actively involved as a member of our community, in our adult classes and in volunteer positions around the Temple. This is the space where we will develop a true feeling of community and where intimacy will be created. Together we can build a healthy Jewish environment for ourselves and our children.
When will we have a rehearsal?
If you and your child come regularly to services, a rehearsal will not be necessary; if services are not attended with some regularity, a rehearsal won’t help! With regular service participation, your child will be prepared and the various elements of the service will come together on the Shabbat when the ceremony takes place. Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a celebration that occurs during one of the most important public services in the Jewish calendar: Shabbat Morning. It is a worship experience that involves all of us; it is not a staged activity for which we can rehearse.
How is the Shabbat Morning service shaped?
Becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in the community is a continuing process and not a one-time performance. With this idea in mind, the liturgy of the Shabbat Morning service is conducted by Temple Isaiah=s Rabbis and Cantor with help from our Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Talented members of the family who wish to honor the Bar/Bat Mitzvah are asked to reserve their presentations for the family celebration.
Does every child read or chant the same prayers and Torah text?
Torah reading is divided into parashiot, portions, allocated for each Shabbat. We read through the Torah on a yearly basis, and the date chosen gives us the selection from the Torah and the Prophets from which your child will read. We expect a certain minimum of material to be mastered, but there is no maximum. We want to make the training and celebration simultaneously challenging and enjoyable; we want your child to feel proud of his or her accomplishment.
How can we involve family and friends in the process?
Our tradition provides us with the opportunity to honor members of the community by calling them to the Torah for an aliyah. On a Shabbat morning when students become B=nai Mitzvah, these honors are usually given to the students= close family members. According to tradition, one person is called to bless the Torah for each aliyah, but we will be more than happy to invite a couple up to the bima to bless the Torah together if you need to honor more people. If you have any questions about aliyot, please contact the Rabbis or Cantor.
Older siblings can be called up to the Torah for an aliyah, and younger ones may join in the candle blessing on Friday evening and/or may be called to undress and dress the Torah on Shabbat morning.
Non-Jewish relatives or friends may also participate in the service. Non-Jewish parents can share in the presentation of the tallit, can open the Ark, and can accompany the Jewish parent during his or her aliyah. A non-Jewish mother could participate in the candle-lighting ceremony during the Friday evening service by leading one of the English readings that precede the blessing; other non-Jewish relatives can be honored with Ark openings at various points in the service.
While Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a time for celebration and often involves family gathering, we recognize that it is at such important occasions that we may poignantly feel the loss of those family members and friends who have died. During Friday evening Shabbat services, Temple Isaiah offers an opportunity for mourners or those remembering a Yahrtzeit to rise and share the name of their loved one with the community before reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish. This would also be the most appropriate time for a member of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s family to rise and add the names of those the family especially wishes to remember.
How about my own involvement?
There is no greater joy for a parent than the fulfilling of the Mitzvah “Veshinantam l’vanecha: you shall teach them to your children!” Even a parent with no Jewish background brings the wisdom of living and learning to a child. On the specifics of Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please know that our Education Director, Rabbis and Cantor stand ready to assist you in every way possible.
Please don’t let reception or party-related problems overwhelm you! We would like the experience to be remembered for the Mitzvah spirit; when the party becomes too big, when there is more Bar than Mitzvah, we lose the true meaning of this commitment to our community. How about brushing up on your Hebrew so you can chant the prayers along with your child. We are ready to help you, but you must decide early so that we can plan for it. The impact of your direct participation on your child is incalculable!
parents in presence of the community, will have the opportunity to present their child with a tallit. For parents this is a minute for blessing and for a reaffirmation of Jewish values. Please ask the Cantor or Rabbis if you need guidance on the ritual. Our Rabbis will read and review your words a week before they are presented to your child with his/her tallit.
What are our responsibilities on Friday night?
(or any female member of the family) will be called to the bima to light the Shabbat candles. She may share any of the candle lighting ceremony with other family members (e.g., grandparents or other children). The person who lights the candles and says the Hebrew prayer must be Jewish. A non-Jewish family member may read the English. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is invited to lead Kiddush for the Eve of Shabbat and the Chatsi Kaddish if he/she has demonstrated sufficient mastery of those prayers to the Cantor.
An Oneg Shabbat is provided by the congregation on Friday night. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah family and friends may wish to bring additional sweets or fruits to the Oneg to mark the special occasion.
Who should we invite to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration?
In order to help create an inclusive seventh grade community, we strongly encourage families to invite all of the students in their child’s Sunday morning Atribe. Please note that invitations are for parties/celebrations, not the service. Everyone in the congregation is always invited to the service.
How can our friends and family make donations in honor of our child?
The tradition of tzedakah is encouraged by Temple Isaiah by giving everyone the opportunity to support its various funds. You may choose to donate any amount to funds such as the 7th Grade Fund, Education, Mazon, Scholarships, Confirmation (Israel trip), the Cantor’s Music Fund, or Rabbis’ Discretionary Funds.
What happens if my child doesn’t want to go through with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process?
Let’s talk about it. Please schedule a private parent-Rabbi meeting. We will bring your child into the discussion later. The truth is, sometimes a child is not ready; remember that Rabbi Akiva - a great second century scholar - did not consider himself ready to assume the commandments until well into his adult life. Thirteen years of age is the earliest; there are times when it would be wise to wait a bit so that the experience will be a positive one.
What can we look forward to after the Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
Bar and Bat Mitzvah is the moment when a child affirms his/her desire to be a fully participating member of the Jewish community. Thus it cannot be the end of Jewish education. Following the Shabbat celebration your child is expected to complete the seventh grade program and enter Teen School on Wednesday evenings beginning in September when the student enters eighth grade. He or she will participate in classes and camp weekends that build upon the knowledge acquired during this time. By enrolling in the B=nai Mitzvah program your family commits to a process of continued education at least through the Confirmation ceremony at the end of the tenth grade. To that end we are asking you to sign a covenant of commitment. We encourage every teen to participate in the Israel experience following the Confirmation ceremony. Temple Isaiah’s eleventh and twelfth graders join other Jewish high school students in our community-wide Midrasha program.
Section III: Social Action Component
The Seventh Grade Fund is an exciting program that helps Temple Isaiah’s students actively learn about philanthropy and take part in Tikkun Olam through Tzedakah. The Fund was initiated by the Seventh Grade Class of 1998-99 when they agreed not to buy each other Bar and Bat Mitzvah gifts. Instead, each family chose to donate the money that would have been spent on those gifts into the Fund. With matching grants from individuals and other foundations, as well as fund-raising activities, the class established itself as a charitable foundation. The class then engaged in a short-term grant-giving cycle, learning about philanthropy, choosing an issue, researching potential grant recipients, and distributing all of the collected money to worthwhile social service organizations. Each Seventh Grade class will have an opportunity to discuss and vote on its participation in this voluntary program at the end of the Sixth Grade or beginning of the Seventh Grade year.
Use of Temple Facilities
We encourage you to celebrate your simcha at the Temple. A package of information with a contract and timeline for planning will be mailed to you about 9-12 months before your event. For questions, please contact the Temple Administrator, Gail Schwartz.
If you wish to use the Social Hall for your reception, please reserve it at least eight months before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. Send in the contract with your refundable deposit to hold the date. When sharing the date with another family, both families must discuss and plan together before they book the hall for the party. Your deposit must accompany the contract, and use fees are due sixty (60) days prior to the event. You must be current in Temple dues and fees to use the facility for your party. Please call Gail Schwartz for information on availability of the hall.
Kiddush for Saturday Morning
You are responsible for providing a simple Kiddush for the congregation and your invited guests. You will need to provide challah, sweet kosher wine, juice for minors, plastic cups, napkins, and two 8’ rectangular tablecloths (available from our gift shop). You may honor a family member or friend by having them prepare the Kiddush table, i.e., pour wine, cut challah, set table. If our building staff sets out the kiddush, there is a $50 fee to the temple. A package of information will be mailed to you about one year before the date including a contract for your simcha arrangements. When sharing the date with another family, families must discuss their plans and cooperate about use of facilities. If you have questions, please contact the Temple Administrator, Gail Schwartz. Also, you may wish to supplement the oneg after the Friday evening Shabbat service preceding your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah
Invitations
If you are sending invitations, they should be mailed four to six weeks before the Bar/ Bat Mitzvah. We encourage you to order these from the Gift Shop, as doing so supports the Women of Isaiah and Temple. It is suggested that you order your invitations three to four months in advance. This ensures adequate time in the event of a printing error and gives you peace of mind.
In printing invitations, the announcement should include the name of the parents, the name of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah in both Hebrew and English, the date, place and exact time of the Shabbat morning service. You may also want to include information about the Friday night activities (check the time of services before printing). As a courtesy, invitations may be sent to the Rabbis, Cantor, and Education Director. Please be sure to join us for services the Friday night before your child becomes Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
Please respect the dignity of the service by using the proper wording in your invitations. Of course, variations are always in order, but please consult with the Rabbis or Cantor before having variations printed.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Invitations and much more are available through the Gift Shop
- 20% discount on invitations
- Albums available to be viewed in your home
- We can personalize yarmulkes and tallit bag
- Small Kiddush cups for wine reception
- Beautiful new selection of tallit
- Bar/Bat Mitzvah sign-in guest albums
- Bar/Bat Mitzvah decorations, napkins and confetti
- Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planner Books
- Visa and Mastercard accepted - all purchases support the religious school.
Throughout the school year, your Gift Shop is open on Sunday from 9:00 a.m.-12:45 p.m, Monday through Thursday from 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. At any other time, you may make an appointment by calling the Gift Shop at 284-4933 to obtain the telephone number of the Judaica Shop Chair.
Note: Please remember that invitations should reflect the nature of the event. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a wonderful occasion to celebrate keeping in mind that it is a celebration of Jewish learning and of a child’s commitment to be a fuller member of the Jewish community.
Policies & Procedures
Please be aware of the following facilities policies:
Temple Isaiah’s kitchen observes Biblical Kashrut. This means that no function at Temple Isaiah, whether communal or private may serve:
- Shellfish
- Pork Products
- Mix dairy and meat products in the same menu
In case of doubt, caterers are to consult the Executive Director, Gail Schwartz. Caterers and family must sign and return a form showing they agree to this policy.
Caterers must file certificates of liability insurance and Workers’ Compensation with the Temple office before working in the kitchen 60 days prior to the event.
There is no smoking in the building (or outside the main door on Shabbat). Ask your guests to step outside and away from the building if they must smoke.
The custodian must be present if you use the facilities. Ask the office for a published schedule of facility use fees.
Absolutely no food or drink is allowed in the Sanctuary. Please close the Sanctuary doors to discourage your guests from going back into the Sanctuary with food.
No flowers, ornamental arrangements or other decoration of the Bima or Sanctuary is permitted.
Children’s behavior must be supervised when on Temple grounds.
You may wish to plan additional festivities in honor of the occasion. If so, the Social Hall may be used for private parties. A reservation form, along with complete information regarding cost, will be sent to you. Although life cycle ceremonies are given priority for use of the Social Hall, you should send your reservation in as soon as possible to avoid conflicts. Please consult the “Facilities Use Guide” for further details; call the office to request a copy.
Please remember that the bima and sanctuary may not be decorated for your child’s service.
If your festivities will be in the Social Hall on Shabbat (prior to sundown on Saturday) they should be within the bounds of good taste and appropriate to Shabbat and the occasion. This statement has been interpreted as follows:
Balloons and/or streamers should not be affixed from the ceiling or walls.
The Rabbis should be consulted on any question of appropriate music.
Above all, remember the religious nature of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and of Shabbat.
Catering services may be used, but arrangements must be made for admitting them to the buildings. The family is completely responsible for breakage, theft, etc. The custodian must be hired through the Temple Administrator.
The Social Hall and Oneg area allow for table seating of 220 people comfortably (if dance area is excluded). A complete list of items available for your use, from flatware to serving items, is included in the “Facilities Use Guide.”
Synagogue Attire
Apparel should be conservative as befits the religious atmosphere: jacket and tie for boys, dress or pant suits for girls.
While ritual is a matter of personal preference in Reform Judaism, it is the custom at Temple Isaiah for those ascending the bima for honors, (i.e. aliyot, holding and lifting the Torah, and dressing the Torah, to wear head coverings and prayer shawls. Yarmulkes and tallitot are available at the rear of the sanctuary. (This is not necessary for those who open and close the ark).
Photography & Videotaping
It is the desire of Temple Isaiah to preserve the sanctity of our worship services. To assure this, the Religious Practices Committee has adopted the following policy regarding photography and videotaping.
Photos and videos are permitted 1 hour prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. The Sanctuary is open at 9:00 a.m. prior to services unless other arrangements are made. Please note that no photos may be taken during the ceremony. Photographers are not permitted to remove Torahs from the Ark. Videos may be taken from a fixed position in back of Sanctuary with no special lighting.
Photographs may be taken before the service until 10:00 a.m. and for as long as desired after the service.
Please provide the Cantor with a 90 minute audio cassette on Shabbat Morning, labeled with your child’s name, if you desire the service to be taped.
The committee has determined that the best way to avoid misunderstanding on this policy is to require the family and its photographer/video operator to sign an agreement and return it to the Temple office at least ten days prior to the service. We appreciate your cooperation.
Following is the text of the"Covenant of Commitment” form Bar and Bat Mitzvah families sign and return to Temple Isaiah:
We perceive our child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah to be one of the milestones in the process of creating a strong Jewish identity. We hereby commit ourselves to fulfilling the Bar/Bat Mitzvah requirements listed below:
Sixth Grade
- Weekday and Sunday classes
- 2 Shabbat Morning Learner’s Minyanim
- 4 Friday night services and 4 Saturday morning services
- 2 6th grade family programs
Seventh Grade
- Weekday and Sunday classes
- 6 Bar/Bat Mitzvah family programs on Sunday mornings
- 4 Friday night services and 4 Saturday morning servicdes
- Bar/Bat Mitzvah training requirements outlined by Rabbis and Cantor
- Continuing Jewish Education
In addition we commit ourselves to continuing (student’s name) Jewish education through Confirmation in the tenth grade. We hope this process will inspire her/him to continue pursuing Jewish learning throughout her/his adult Jewish life.
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