Vayera, Genesis
18:1 - 22:24
I wish I had a dollar (to give to tzedakah!) for every person who has said to me, “I don’t believe in God.” When addressed to me, the statement is most often linked to other questions or declarations, like, “Can I still be considered a Jew?” or “This makes praying from the Siddur very difficult /meaningless/ tedious” or “What should I tell my children when they ask about God”?
From the earliest origins of Judaism, our people have wrestled with how and if we believe in God; we have struggled with who and what God might be; we have offered countless descriptions - and their opposites - of the nature of God’s presence. And, we have tolerated and embraced all those in our midst who struggle to believe or who deny belief.
This week’s Torah portion gives us an intriguing suggestion about belief in God. The first sentence of the portion, translated literally from the Hebrew are: “There appeared to him [Abraham], Adonai, by the terebinths of Mamre as he sat near the opening of his tent, in the heat of the day.” Right away we see what many commentators noticed: the syntax of the first words is odd, out of kilter. Why did it not say, “Adonai appeared to him there...”? Maimonides, the great medieval philosopher said the text is written this way to emphasize that God (having no body) does not move or change or appear - God simply is, everywhere, perfectly, present. Therefore we are meant to understand the action in the sentence is on Abraham’s part; Abraham recognizes at this moment that God was, is and will always be there. Once that realization happens, “there appeared to him [Abraham], Adonai.”
To help us untangle and comprehend this philosophical argument, a Hassidic commentary, the Or Ha- Hayyim (18th century), proposes that God’s revelation to human beings depends on our drawing near to God and not the other way around. For example, says the commentator, notice the sequence of the loving in these famous words from Song of Songs 6:3: “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” The implication is that first I give myself to my beloved and only then does my beloved give himself to me. Or Ha-Hayyim emphasizes: It is according to a person’s spiritual readiness and preparation that s/he will attain an awareness of God. Only then will ultimate awareness fill him/her with the ability to lovingly comprehend God. The same idea is also written in Proverbs 8:17: “Those who love Me, I love; and those who seek Me will find Me.” When we prepare ourselves, when we let go of our resistance, when we move (spiritually, psychologically, emotionally) toward God, then, “there appeared to ‘us’, Adonai,” just as there, in that place of Abraham’s openness, did Adonai appear to him.
The next time you feel tempted to say - out loud or to yourself - “I don’t believe in God,” try saying instead, “I want to be open to the possibility of God.” See what it feels like. Take a small step toward the Holy One. Stay open. Take another step. Don’t be discouraged. Make up your own prayers if the ones in the Siddur don’t work. Be patient. Stay open to the possibility. Let me know what/who appears.
Shabbat Shalom!
Rabbi Judy Shanks
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