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Teaching Children to Apologize

There was an interesting article in the NY Times’ parenting blog last week about teaching children to apologize:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/16/teaching-children-to-apologize/#more-5385

One of the things I found helpful about the blog is the reminder to parents (and educators) that apologies aren’t only about the words. In Jewish tradition, repentance involves at least 4 steps:

1) Recognize our error/misdeed/sin
2) Apologize to the appropriate person(s) with sincerity
3) Fix the problem (if necessary… i.e. return a stolen item to its proper owner)
4) When we encounter a similar situation in the future, act differently

At this time of year - the Yamim Noraim (Days of Awe) - we are supposed to ask others for forgiveness. But as we do so, let us remember that it’s not our words alone that will lead to full teshuva (repentance), but it is also our actions - current and future - that will ultimately repair the damages we have caused.